Talking Trikots: Shouting about the awful new World Cup kits

Welcome back to Talking Trikots! Today, we do not focus on Bayern Munich groups for change. Instead, we take a look at the groups of national teams around the world as they enter the final phase of preparation for the World Cup.

Now, there are plenty of kit sponsors to go around, but most football fans would agree that the three biggest makers are currently Adidas, Puma and Nike. Twenty-six of the 32 teams are sponsored by one of the three teams, with Nike taking the award for most countries sponsoring it (13).

As the World Cup approaches, the three brands have released their new kits for the upcoming tournament. However, this writer regrets to say that most of them are average, many are bad, and some are just plain ugly. It’s hard to find a good shirt from any of the three brands. Let’s take a look at all three and see how bad they are.

Adidas

The leading German brand will probably get the least amount of criticism for its work, but that doesn’t mean much. Adidas are usually known to release some gems at the major tournaments, but this time they haven’t been delivered. For example, the elusive purple ribbon was introduced to Argentina. The Mexican shirt is an unfortunate attempt to combine Aztec graphics with a football that looks strange and amazing. The Spain national team kit is blue with a set of wavy lines that make one feel seasick by looking at it. The Belgium national team kit doesn’t look far, whatever that means.

Heck, even Germany has been treated to one of the ugliest kits they’ve had in the last decade, and it’s very hard to spoil the Germany kit. How do you go wrong with black and white? This set of adidas kits is certainly one of their worst in recent memory, but it looks marginally better than what we’ll see next.

puma

The other big German brand has shown on multiple occasions why it can’t escape the looming shadow of adidas, and this World Cup is no exception. Home kits, like Adidas, aren’t really a big deal (although they aren’t golazos either), but the guest shirts are horrible. Each of the six away kits has some huge overhead hits in the middle of the shirt for the numbers you’ll be entering. It looks like something someone would wear while running a marathon or sprint, not at a football match. Without the numbers, it looks worse. Imagine a hole in the middle of your shirt with nothing to fill it. It looks ugly, it looks out of place, and it’s not something people want to wear anywhere, whether it’s on or off the field. Whether you support Uruguay, Ghana, Switzerland, Serbia, Morocco or Senegal, you will be very disappointed to see your team wear one of these kits.

nike

Now we come to the biggest brand of the World Cup, and perhaps the worst. Nike has been known for its ugly soccer kits, and they really hit rock bottom in this World Cup. They have a variety of patterns, none of which really stick. The Brazilian home kit looks like a dry lake bed. The English and American home combinations are very simple. Portugal’s core group is probably the worst, with the jersey divided diagonally between green and red. Dutch house kit looks like yellow tin foil. Croatia’s home jersey looks unfinished. South Korea has completely lost its national colors from red and white to pink and painted black. One could go on, but that would just be a waste of time. These shirts are not worth the attention.

Nike also has a model that many club teams have already been exposed to: an arched line that runs from shoulder to shoulder. It looks pretty bad, and there is no combination to make it work. The England group tried to succeed, but failed miserably. All in all, another terrifying year for Nike. Lord knows who was responsible for designing these Nike crews, but they should either be fired or forced to take pay cuts. In fact, the only country to drop out of the race is defending champion France, which already has the most beautiful looks in the championship. Fans will be curious to see if the team can stick to its kit and avoid the title holder’s curse.

By the way, Canada does not even get a new batch. They will wear their old kits at the World Cup. That’s just disrespect from Nike, but they might have dodged a bullet.

last thoughts

This World Cup has been controversial for multiple reasons, and the crews don’t help the tournament’s image at all. Perhaps the designers of all three brands just decided to boycott this World Cup with hideous designs just to discredit it? Whatever the reason, this promises to be one of the ugliest World Cups in living memory.